Be the Candle or the Mirror

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

— Edith Wharton

I was reminded of this line at a recent parent gathering for a program I lead. Parents kept describing our team as "diverse, motivated, exciting to be around" — a culture of positivity, support, and warmth. One parent said, "If all of my daughter's teachers in school were like these coaches, then I'd consider myself the luckiest parent in the city."

Talking with one parent who manages a professional services firm, we got into the challenge of working with such a switched-on team. Sometimes it can be exhausting (in a good way) to keep up with the flow of ideas everyone is generating. A good challenge to have — but a real one. The more people who propose ideas, the more people who become impatient when their ideas aren't implemented immediately. Multiple people often have legitimate but different views on how something needs to happen. It's a natural challenge with any proactive team.

There are days when we must act as the candle. There are days when we need to be the mirror. Not every day can we expect all the attention and light focused on us. By helping reflect and magnify the energy, brightness, and positive change in the world that others can provide, we are still contributing massively to making our communities stronger.

The candle, lest we forget, also consumes itself through the production of light. The energy produced in the form of illumination comes from the candle's wax. I've often heard the profession and vocation of teaching described as being a candle: consuming itself but illuminating the path for others.

Reflecting the light of others isn't a weakness. It's necessary for groups and movements and organizations to reach their goals. It's also necessary for individuals to allow others around them to shine. Especially for those as accomplished, motivated, and cerebral as those on our team, let's please remember that on any given day and at any given moment we can make a choice: to be the candle or to be the mirror.

Both are of equal value. Both illuminate the path. Both brighten the world.